Cell Phone Lobotomy, or Where is MADD?

You've seen them; they are the simpletons who have too little ram to converse and drive simultaneously but do so to the peril of others. He is slouched down in the driver's seat with the top of his head barely visible just to the left of the headrest. Dumbo steers with the thumb and index finger of his left hand and mashes the phone against his face with his right.

The audio system is jacked up to such decibel levels that the vehicle's sides bulge outward with each base note. The driver, to use the term loosely, is oblivious to the cars that are steadily passing him on his right as he slinks along in the fast lane at 5 mph. below the posted speed limit. The boy genius is tooling blithely along in an erotic stupor as he describes in lurid detail what he plans to do that evening with the object of his desire who is on the other end of the conversation.

That object is driving to a mega mall with three of her friends who are all yakking vapidly about their social lives on their own cell phones. The rear view mirror is tilted conveniently so that she can switch from checking her hair and makeup, critiquing what her friends are wearing, and looking to see whether any cute guys are following them. For her, the view outside the windshield has taken on the appearance of a cartoon as she mentally creates a new persona to upload to the Web with her Yoostar so that she can impress her buddies with it.

The government that wants to micromanage your life to a point that it chooses your doctor for you can't protect children from predators. That same government has squandered a trillion tax dollars propping up industries that are collapsing from the weight of Congressional over-regulation and taxation. However, it cannot protect you, your friends, or loved ones from being maimed and mangled by feckless dimwits who are engaging in mindless mutual ego massaging as they travel the nation's roadways. It is up to us.

May your gods be with you.